I can't keep up with my girlfriend's need for sex since she started Pilates

DEAR DEIDRE:  FOR five years my partner turned me down nearly every time I suggested sex – and I had to accept that she didn’t want it.

Now her drive is back and she goes into a mood if I don’t want it every time she does.


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It’s as if I should be up for it all the time.

I am 35 and she is 33. Our sex life was great the first year we were together but then she gained weight and wasn’t interested.

I felt rejected but tried to be understanding.

Now she has got into cycling and Pilates, her appetite for it is back and she tries to get me to have sex with her two or three times a day.

But my confidence has gone and it makes it worse that she’s not very understanding with me. I try giving her pleasure when she asks me to but, if I don’t follow through with sex, she goes into more of a mood.

DEIDRE SAYS: Tell your girlfriend you love her but, if she wants more sex then she needs to be a more proactive lover, making you feel desired and arousing you rather than expecting you to do all the work.

And intercourse two or three times a day is quite a lot to demand of any guy, as you need a chance to recharge your batteries.

My e-leaflet on Different Sex Drives can help you get the right balance.

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