I'm too scared to have sex after I had a miscarriage

DEAR DEIDRE: SINCE I had a miscarriage two months ago, I’ve been too scared to make love.

My boyfriend is keen to have sex again now I’ve been given the all-clear by the doctor, but I’m nervous.


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I’m 24, he’s 27 and we’ve been together for three years.

The pregnancy wasn’t planned but we were both really happy about it when we found out.

Sadly, I lost the baby at eight weeks. I had to have a little operation afterwards.

I’m not bleeding or in pain anymore, but I still feel so sad and emotional.

And the thought of having sex again makes me tense up.

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I keep saying “soon” to my boyfriend. He’s being patient but I can tell he feels rejected and frustrated.

Will I ever get over this?

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DEIDRE SAYS: The way you’re feeling is natural.

You are still grieving for the baby you lost and you’re healing physically too.

It’s possible you’re also concerned – perhaps subconsciously – about falling pregnant again if you have sex, which is why you’re tensing up.

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Be patient with yourself and ask your boyfriend to take things slowly. You’ll know when you’re ready.

Talking to a counsellor could help. My miscarriage support pack has details.

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