My husband has been spending thousands of pounds on sex chats with fake women – The Sun
DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband has been spending thousands of pounds talking sex on a website – where they warn you the women aren’t real and you will never get to meet them.
The photo used in “her” profile is what looks like a publicity shot of a girl in a TV series.
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I’m 48 and he is 58. We’ve been together for 25 years but last year he started to spend much more time on his laptop and phone and became far more short-tempered.
I was cleaning up downstairs and found a bill for a credit card in his name that I knew nothing about. He’d paid £5,000 to a company that runs porn websites.
I confronted him and told him this had to stop. He told me to mind my own business. The next day he moved out and got a room in a B&B near by.
We can’t afford to waste money like that so I let him home the next week.
But he just spends his days lying on the sofa with his laptop, chatting to this imaginary girlfriend. He spent £1,000 in just one week — that’s 1,000 messages to his fake woman.
He’s completely sucked in by her line of: “We will meet one day but now it’s just here.”
He honestly believes they will meet, get married and have babies. He’s nearly 60! He is head over heels for a “woman” he has never kissed, touched or met.
She refuses to give him her phone number or email, telling him: “I’m more comfortable talking on here, OK?” And he says, “OK.” He never used to be like this but tripped and banged his head last year. I feel this behaviour started then, although the doctors said he was fine.
He’s still spending money chatting to girls and I keep deleting his stupid website accounts, but he keeps making new ones. If I confront him he gets so angry, though he was never like that in the past. I’m at my wits’ end with it all.
ONCE we have fallen in love, we may assume our relationship will look after itself.
In reality we change, our lives change, and we have to give our relationshipattention for it to survive. My e-leaflet Your Relationship MOT can help you avoid a crisis.
DEIDRE SAYS: I’m not surprised. It must be frightening and presumably he is wasting money you can’t afford and heading into debt.
Try to initiate a calm, caring conversation with your husband, maybe with another trusted family member there. Say how worried you are about his health and ask him to accept some support. Head injuries can certainly trigger behaviour changes such as lowering inhibition. Share your worries with your GP as medication could make a difference, and you can get advice about coping with brain injuries through Headway (headway.org.uk, 0808 800 2244).
My e-leaflet Addicted To Sex explains tactics and sources of help for that.
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