Wife offers 'toxic mother-in-law' advice after cutting ties with husband's mum

A woman has become a TikTok star by offering tips for dealing with troublesome inlaws.

And she’ll keep going – even though her mother-in law has called her a ‘b*tch’ whose videos are pushing the family apart.

Stephanie Ferry has been with partner Josh Ferry, 28, for nine years and claims the difficult relationship with his family began when they finished college and moved in together. 

The 28-year-old says the situation worsened when the pair got married five and a half years ago and began building ‘boundaries’ with her in-laws.

The accounts manager is now speaking out about how to deal with problematic in-law relationships on her TikTok account. She hopes setting up the page will help others set ‘healthy boundaries’ for their marriages. 

However, she also uses the platform to mock her mother-in-law. 

Josh’s mother is ‘heartbroken’ that she no longer sees her son and believes it is all because ‘the bitch’ Stephanie ‘wanted him to herself all this time and she has won’.

She believes she has respected their boundaries and finds it difficult to comprehend why contact with her son and his wife has been cut. 

Meanwhile, she has called the TikTok videos ‘unforgivable.’

One of the clips shows Stephanie claiming she is thought of in the same vein as the evil supervillain and ‘goddess of death’ Hela from Marvel movie Thor.

Stephanie, who is from Colorado Springs, US, said: ‘It became more hostile when my husband started setting boundaries that were healthy for us, our marriage and him.

‘It all fell apart because they didn’t like that they couldn’t control us or him anymore.

‘Anything my husband said to them they thought was because I told him to.’

Both Stephanie and Josh transferred jobs and moved 1,000 miles across the country from Colorado to get space from Josh’s family. 

They also imposed a ‘boundary’ that meant in-laws had to communicate with the couple through Josh, after Stephanie was branded ‘the bitch’ by her mother-in-law.

However Stephanie’s mother-in-law said: ‘I’m not the monster she paints me to be.

‘My son and I were very close and had no issues until he met Stephanie. Then the issues began with boundaries and accusations.

‘I don’t know why she feels the way she does because whatever they required of me I did and I’m thousands of miles away so it’s not like I can just show up on their doorstep.

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‘I used to send them presents and they said that was crossing boundaries and asked me to stop so I did.

‘I did call her “the bitch” in a text message because I had just had it with everything, which unfortunately ended up being sent to my son instead of another family member by mistake and I did apologise several times for that.

‘There’s a lot of twists and turns in the stories she tells and a lot of untruths.’

Stephanie is encourages others to know ‘it’s okay to say no and take a step back’.

She advises those going through difficult in-law relations to prioritise their partner and marriage above all else.

‘You don’t choose your family but when you get married you are literally choosing one person that you want to be with every day until you die,’ she explained. 

‘Given the large commitment that is marriage you really have to prioritise each other over everyone else.

‘People online say “I’m going through the same thing and my husband or partner will only take my side behind closed doors to not upset their mom”.

‘What I say to that is that your partner needs to support and prioritise you and that needs to be communicated to everyone because when you get married you become one unit, a team, and you have to keep it that way.’

Stephanie’s mother-in-law says the ‘toxic in-law advice’ videos are doing more harm than good. ‘Those videos are just trying to alienate the family further apart and they have,’ she said. 

‘The things that were posted on social media are unforgivable. Prior to that I offered to fly out weekly to seek therapy with both of them that they declined.’

Stephanie and Josh officially cut contact with the family in June 2020. There has been no communication since. 

They argue the relationship is now unfixable and say they need to ‘heal.’ 

The only way for some contact to be made would require the family realising what they have done. 

Josh’s mum, on the other hand, insists she has been left ‘devastated’ by the disintegration of the connection with her soon. 

‘We don’t see or talk to them, we’re completely cut off. It’s been very hard on the whole family,’ she said. 

‘She wanted him to herself all this time and she has won. I miss my son, it’s heartbreaking.’

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